Porn is love you can see.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
