Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
