Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
