Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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