No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
