I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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