there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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