I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
