He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize