I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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