Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
