pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think my moral compass just broke
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