Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
actually, I'm a sock model
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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