why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
