This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
