your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
