I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
