4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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