It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
