Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
two words...techno handjob
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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