I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
