fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
