"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
