We need to rekindle our bromance
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
