I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
