Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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