The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Fuck appropriateness.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
