once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
