She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
