You smell like a Billy Joel song
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
