You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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