I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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