Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found puke in my bra..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
