Soap is not a condiment
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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