girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
