Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
