you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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