We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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