Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
