He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
