Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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