xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
