so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
