I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
