Please, let me fuck your mom
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
