She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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