yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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