She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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