It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
