we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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