I am puke
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
