Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
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