in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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