I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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