Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
