Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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